Sunday, February 28, 2010

Rich Asshole Plagiarizes Poor Asshole

Rich asshole Seth MacFarlane, creator of the hit television shows “Family Guy,” “American Dad” and “The Cleveland Show”, has been accused of plagiarizing from other shows such as “The Simpsons.” Now, he’s being accused of plagiarizing a person.

Robert Enders, a poor asshole from Fort Wayne, Indiana, resembles MacFarlane to the extent that he is filing a lawsuit against MacFarlane for Doppelganger Infringement.
“I can’t fucking believe him,” exploded Enders, 30. “He’s a rich fuck and can’t even have an original looking face. He has to look like me!”

MacFarlane, 35, has taken hits in the press for not having an original concept with his breakout hit, “Family Guy.” Cancelled twice, it finally went back on the air after DVD sales skyrocketed and reruns of the show on Cartoon Network generated a healthy fan base.

“I don’t give fuck about Enders,” said MacFarlane, from his home in California.

“Well, fuck him,” said Enders, in response.

“No, fuck YOU, Robert!”

“NO, FUCK YOU, Seth!”

After several more minutes of tough-guy brags and taunts, MacFarlane and Enders got into a fight, which worsened when an obese man and a giant chicken entered into the fracas.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Self-Described "Creative Type" Films Asses for Fun

Thrilled with her first ever parody video, Gloria Diaz has released it on YouTube.

"'Baby Got Back' is one of my favorite songs," says Diaz. "Since we are one of the fattest cities in the nation, I figured this would be the easiest place to find huge rear ends. And boy, did I ever!"

Diaz's next video project will either mock her financial situation, or make fun of America's decline, whichever seems easier to produce.

"The music's not mine. Maybe someday, I'll compose my own, but for now, I'll just steal someone else's."

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Obama to develop high speed trains, biplanes, and telegraph lines

Critics of high speed rail insist that trains are obselete. Yet this and other programs are already stimulating the economy. So today I am proud to announce the purchase of a fleet of high speed biplanes for the Army Air Corps. These pursuit planes will fly in excess of 100mph, and will counter the threat posed by Prussian zeppelins.

We're also laying down a new high speed telegraph line that will stretch from coast to coast. It will transmit Morse code messages at the speed of light, and will provide jobs to thousands of communications majors.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

National Big Box Chain Tries to be Ironic

The Northcrest Shopping Center Best Buy took a shot at being ironic--or did it?
The book display, featuring works by Sarah Palin and Glenn Beck, were displayed in front of a sign that read, "Enrich Your Mind."
"Fertilizer is enriching," said Stacy Lynch, who works in appliances. "I don't see what the big deal is."