Thursday, February 5, 2009
NFL to Debut Toilet Bowl in 2010
In order to make the NFL’s worst teams feel better and to improve players' self-esteem, the NFL will have a new bowl game called the Toilet Bowl.
“For the shittiest two teams in the league,” says Roger Goodell, NFL commissioner. “They won’t get a lot of money for it, but it gives at least one of them a chance to prove they aren’t the shittiest team in the league. Whoever loses is the shittiest.”
The Toilet Bowl, according to its organizers, will “keep it real.” The search is on for a field, which will be unpretentious. “Don’t expect a full-service stadium, with big screens and whatnot,” says Goodell. “This game will be pro football at its most shittiest.”
A number of free tickets will be given to season ticket holders of the two shittiest teams in football. The rest will be sold at a minimal amount. “People are willing to pay $500 to $1,000 a ticket for the Super Bowl, but they are seeing the best the NFL has to offer,” says Goodell. “The Toilet Bowl will be way more affordable.”
As will be the half time entertainment. “We are looking at several marching bands and show choirs that might want to be a part of this. Also, we may accept audition tapes from ballet studios.”
Commercials, which are a major part of the Super Bowl, will also be a part of the Toilet Bowl, except for one thing: they’re gonna suck.
“We’re planning for locally-produced commercials from each of the cities participating in the Toilet Bowl,” says Goodell. “We feel it fits in with the whole spirit of the game.”
The Toilet Bowl will make its debut a week after the BCS in 2010.
However, if the Toilet Bowl made its debut this year, fans of the Detroit Lions and Kansas City Chiefs would have played.
“Damn! What a great Toilet Bowl that would have been!” says Goodell.
Posted by Gloria at 5:44 PM