Thursday, April 2, 2009

Obama To GM: I'll Give You Money If You Make Motorized Barstools

President Obama told General Motors today the company could have more money to ease its financial woes, but there’s a catch: the company has to start mass-producing motorized barstools.
The surprising demand has automakers and car buffs burning up the Internet as to why the sudden demand for these novelty modes of transportation.
“In these times, the country has to get creative and think outside the box,” said Obama. “The motorized barstools will provide jobs, transportation, and reduce the amount of pollution in crowded cities such as Los Angeles and New York.”
Michelle Obama was enthusiastic about the barstools, saying “they’re so cute!”
Candace Lightner, founder of Mothers Against Drunk Drivers was furious.
“The president is sending a message to anyone who can sit on his or her ass and steer. That message is ‘yes, you can drive!’ These barstools will mean nothing but trouble.”
Tara Reid, who has been in and out of rehab said of the unique mode of transportation, “I can’t wait to get one and make an even bigger douche bag out of myself than I already am!”


  1. Tara Reid?
    I could have SWORN it was Lindsay Lohan...

    Thanks for correcting that for me.


  2. Lindsay Lohan is a skank. Reid is a douchebag. Although, anymore, they are interchangable...

  3. So that would make Paris Hilton a....???
    (just wondering now)