Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Supermodel Actually A Skeleton
Current “It” girl Gabriella Corte de Vidrio, thought to be an actual supermodel, is actually super-skinny. So skinny, she’s a skeleton.
The 20-year-old Argentinean model was discovered to be nothing but bones when she fell over while at a recent fitting for a Versace runway show and shattered.
She was put together again with a bottle of Gorilla Glue, with the help of several seamstresses.
The accident, from which she recovered, won’t affect her contract with Bally Fitness’s “No Fat Chicks” campaign, created to promote slender lifestyles.
“There is no such thing as being too rich or too thin,” says Beth Schultz, of Bally Fitness. “Women need to be skinny at whatever cost. While we would prefer them to work out and eat a cube of cheese a day, and maybe a small salad, we would be okay with vomiting after meals, too. No one likes a fat chick.”
“That’s not true,” says Fred Lucas, of the Fat,Underrated Chicks are King organization, otherwise known as F.U.C.K. “There’s nothing like a woman with a big, fat ass to grab onto when you’re nailing her. I wouldn’t fuck Gabriella if she were the last chick on earth.”
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