Thursday, June 11, 2009

GM To Make Energy Drinks

In a surprising move, General Motors announced today it would stop making cars and start making energy drinks.
The troubled automaker, which formally announced bankruptcy a few days ago, realized more people can afford to buy energy drinks than overpriced SUVs.
Guy Dudebro, newly hired marketing director for General Motors North America, said the move seems radical, but necessary.
“Dude, like no one can afford to buy cars. But energy drinks? Wow! Like that’s what kept me going all through college. They totally rock!”
Dudebro, who accepted the $23,000 a year salary, felt that being marketing director for a bankrupt auto maker beat working for $7.50 an hour at McDonald’s, where he was employed shortly before he graduated from the University of Phoenix.
The GM Energy Drinks will come in a variety of flavors. The marketing campaign is based on real-life people struggling with challenges, including bankruptcy, accidental dismemberment, job loss, and news that they have terminal cancer. The energy drinks keeps them going, despite their problems. The tagline for the ad campaign is “Get Juiced.”
Filmmaker Michael Moore, who shot to fame with his documentary, “Roger and Me,” about General Motors and its economic impact in Michigan said, “GM is reduced to bankruptcy? I’ll drink to that! Only not with one of their energy drinks.”


  1. Gee...I wonder if it will contain ETHANOL...

    TWICE the CORN...WITH NONE of the caffeine!


  2. Hopefully, the energy drinks will include a heaping dose of humility.

  3. Gloria:
    Agreed, but don'cha think ALL that humility in the air might cause "SMUG ALERTS"?
    (quick, call in Greg Shoup for the details)